Daily things wear us down, sometimes quietly under our own noses, without us noticing. Many days I feel like I fall short: as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, as a person. Weeks go by when it seems I can't do anything right.
Then there, breathing in the scent of the forest, I can step back, let the pace change, and remember what it is to just be. No shortcomings. No failures. No judgment. Just live.
Be present. Be calm. Be okay. Be myself. Be alive.
And it had been a while since Nick and I were just us. Now we're Mommy and Daddy. I'm not complaining--S has brought a happiness into our life that we never could have imagined. But sometimes I think we forget who we are together. We are a man and a woman. We are a husband and wife. We are two people who fell in love with each other fifteen years ago. I didn't fall in love with "Daddy," (although, for the record, I've fallen more in love with him now, seeing him with our daughter). I fell in love with someone who smiles with half his mouth, is mischievous, tender-hearted, adventurous and fun, and who makes me laugh those full, hearty belly laughs that are one of life's greatest joys.
We took what I felt was a HUGE step in our parenting journey last weekend, as we left S overnight with my mom for the first time so we could have a Mommy-Daddy camping trip. It was just one night, but for me, it was a slice of bliss. I'd forgotten what it was like to have time together to focus on each other and just relax. It was simple. And it allowed me to return to our home with a new energy (despite my recent severe lack of sleep and out-of-character cranky teething toddler). I haven't escaped my imperfections or insecurities; but escaping for just one night helped me to regain vibrancy. I don't know the expiration date on my fresh perspective, but when it's up I'll head into the woods again--maybe next time with toddler in tow.