Punkin Pie

Oh, my little punkin pie. Punkin, punky, or punky butt for short. 

I'm about to have a 5 month old on my hands. And I can't get enough of her. They weren't joking when they said the days are long but the years are short. These 5 months have been the most treasured of my life.

They also said "life will never be the same." Well, that's a no-brainer. Of course life can't be the same. Not only is there another human being living in my house, but this tiny person relies on me for absolutely everything. Her very survival rests in my hands. I pray daily for God to make my hands capable.

It's more accurate to say "I will never be the same."

She has forever changed me.

A world of chaos swirls around me between nursing, changing diapers, fussiness, ear aches, loud toys, cries, coos, laughs, squeals, shrieks, tick-tocks of the swing, cartoons, white noise, making lunches for hubby, my job (oh yeah, I have a job!), answering emails, editing files, paying bills, making doctor appointments, doing laundry, piled-up dishes, floors that need vacuumed, thank-you cards that still need to be written, more diapers, more cries, bedtime stories, baby baths, baby blowouts, lullabies, and yet more diapers.

But with all the chaos--all the stressful, overwhelming, and mind-blowing craziness that has become my life--I am content. At the end of the day, what matters most is that my family is together, healthy, and mostly happy. So I am content.


She Found Her Feet!

This week Sophia found her feet. She's quite pleased with herself.


3 months old

Here's a little glimpse at how my girl has grown.

Photo Feast

I have to admit I've been struggling a little bit. Just when I thought I was getting the hang of being a mom, I had to start learning to be a working mom. Even though I'm blessed to have my loved ones looking after my dear daughter during the day, I'm unsettled knowing that I'm not the one sharing sweet smiles, fun playtime, and butterfly kisses all day long. I'm missing so much.


I wish

I wish I could stretch these nights a little longer. I wish I could hold on to my baby for more than just this moment--cradling her in my arms, her eyes closed, sweet staccato breaths as quiet whispers, full round cheeks, and soft smile spreading warmly enough over her pointed chin to melt this mommy's heart. The days and weeks are already flashing by. I can already see her in her cap and gown... and I'm afraid it's going to happen tomorrow.

"Don't ever leave me," I want to say to her. But that would be a lie. I want her to grow. I want her to be determined, adventurous, and strong. I want her to soar. I want her to fly.

Sophia, 3 days old

But not yet. Right now I want her to stay by me. I secretly beg, "please slow down little girl." I can see her leaving for college. It's only a for moment I get to wrap her in my arms, follow her hairline with my finger, and kiss her curly toes. The time will soon come when she no longer grips my finger with her miniature hands.

Sleepy girl, 5 days old

And I cry hidden tears--both of joy and heart ache. These days are almost over already. "Enjoy this time. Cherish every moment. Celebrate every new milestone. All the stages are so much fun," they all say. I know they are right, but for now I need to freeze this moment.


Night night

I was just about to take a shower, but decided to check on Sophia. I walked into the bedroom where Sophia and Nick were both supposed to be sleeping.

Nick: I already checked on her.
Me: To make sure that she's breathing?
Nick: Yep.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that. 

Playtime for Sophia

I haven't been good about blogging lately, as I've been a little busy with Sophia. I'll try to blog more often to share some of our fun and special moments. I've been participating in a couple mom groups on Facebook recently, so I've been posting photos there and not so much on the blog. It's ironic because I actually hate Facebook and I love to blog. Anyway, here is a cute video of Sophia playing the other day. She got fussy at the end because it was time to eat.

It's hard to believe she's 2 months old already! She is growing fast, and she impresses me every day. I have a very curious and smart baby.



I had done it all.
I had read all the books.
I'd read articles online.
I'd tracked the size of the growing "fruit" in my belly, and I'd registered for everything I'd need.
We took our time making the nursery look perfect. White and gold adorned the room around splashes of pink (at Daddy's insistence) for our little girl.

I thought I was prepared. I thought I knew what was coming.

And for all practical purposes, I did.

Not only had I spent a lot of time with a good many babies, but I'd read every piece of material available. After all, as a trained journalist, I know how to do my research. 

I was perfectly prepared for how little sleep I'd get. I was prepared for the crying, the poopy diapers, walking the floor with baby, and spit-up on my freshly laundered clothes. Everyone tried to tell me how hard it would be and that I just couldn't understand until she was here.

But I have to say,  I actually did expect exactly what I ended up getting when it came to all the tasks and daily chaos that comes with a baby. None of that has been a surprise.

But there is something I was not prepared for. There is something that no one told me, because no one could tell me. There is something that sent a jolt to my heart and made me realize that, until the moment I gave birth, I had not known my purpose in life.

It was love at first sight.

It's true. It exists. When I laid eyes on my child, the precious being who I did not yet know, I fell deeply, hopelessly, and forever in love. THAT. I was unprepared for that.

And now I know and understand God's purpose for my life. I understand my mission: Raising her--loving my sweet Sophia--and teaching her to love Jesus and to love others. She is my mission. Being her mother. That is what matters.

And because being her mommy is my life's purpose, I don't mind being pooped on. I don't mind losing sleep or having a messy house. I don't mind being all-consumed by her crying demands. She is worth every moment. I was not prepared to love the way I love now.



This week was crappy--that's all there is to it. We had a death in the family, I had false labor several times, and Nick had 5 hours of major dental work done in one day. So glad the week is over.

We did have a bright spot, though. This evening we had what was probably our last date night before baby. We'd purchased tickets to see Spamalot at a local dinner theater as a late anniversary celebration since Nick had to be out of town for work on our actual anniversary date. (In case you missed the last post, our 10-year wedding anniversary was on June 6!)

So this evening, we blocked out all the sadness and disappointment from the week and enjoyed a night out. Oh, and also we are 38 weeks along now. Less than 2 weeks until due date, but I've already progressed and it could actually be any day now!

Also, we found a new setting on the camera that makes us look younger in our photos, which is something to celebrate. We're jazzed about it.


Life is Precious

Today I am reminded how precious life is. I am reminded that the people we know, the people we love, don't belong to us. They are only borrowed. They are here to serve the purpose of a God who created them and loves them. They belong to Him, and He can take them back at any moment.

Today I am reminded how important it is to tell my loved ones that they are so special to me, that I am blessed to have them in my life, and that my existence on this planet is so much richer because I know them. 


Almost there

Tomorrow, Thursday, June 5, we celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary. It seems like that beautiful day we said our vows was just yesterday, yet we've grown and changed so much from our 22-year-old selves, it had to be 10 years ago. There's no one I'd rather change and grow with than the wonderful man I am blessed to call my husband! He is truly my soul mate!

As we look forward to the next 10 years, we are cruising past the 37-week mark in expecting our little girl. During our midwife appointment this week, I was dilated 1cm and 40% effaced. It doesn't mean too much, except my body is progressing toward labor. Midwife thought I might go early, although she was hesitant to say because she didn't want me to be disappointed if I end up going past the "due date." I know that a due date is just an estimate, but I still can't wait for June 26!

At the Downtown Aquarium in Denver, 36 weeks pregnant

Also this week, we got the rest of our maternity photos back, and I will treasure them forever! Chelsea did such an amazing job, and I couldn't be happier with the turnout! You can see all the images from PhotoChic Imagery & Design by clicking here. (Hint: We shot the photos at a petting zoo, and the first few images are of sheep.) Here are a few of my favorites:


More Maternity Photos

From the fabulous Chelsea at PhotoChic Imagery & Design!


I am so grateful to be expecting my first baby. I remember crying each month when I realized I wasn't pregnant, and wanting this baby so badly I couldn't stand it. I still feel this way. But I also feel like this:

and this...


Maternity Pics

Baby is 34 weeks along now, and I feel like a walking house. Last week my clumsy top-heavy self took a little spill on the garage floor. Baby and I are totally okay, but it gave me a good scare and a night on the labor & delivery floor at the hospital. My back has been extra sore ever since, but in just around 6 short weeks I'll be holding Baby Wilson in my arms and any pain or discomfort I've had will be completely worth it!

Here's a photo from last week when baby was 33 weeks, a couple days after I fell.

The week before, my friend Chelsea, who is also a fabulous photographer (PhotoChic Imagery & Design), took our maternity photos. We took some photos at home and some at The Farm at Lee Martinez Park in Fort Collins. The Farm is a cute little oasis in the middle of the city with barnyard animals and pretty surroundings. Here's a few shots from the session--check out Chelsea's website if you're needing photos!

We have a few little things left to do before baby arrives, but we're mostly ready! We know she needs these remaining weeks to bake a little longer, but we are getting anxious to meet our little girl!